Another Drink
by Lady Jadealiya
Summary: What happens if Heero refuses the advances of both Duo and Relena? Rx2, a bit of a joke not meant to be taken seriously (some shounen ai and lime, but its rather mild)


Another Drink

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Heero has Duo and Relena....but doesn't seem to care about either! What are the two jilted lovers to do? 

By Jadealiya

***Normal Disclaimers Apply***

RX2. Some lime and some shounen ai

This is meant entirely in jest.....take it seriously at your own risk ^-^

Duo sat in a darkened corner of the local bar, stacking his steady supply of shot glasses, pausing only long enough to gulp down the refills the pretty waitress kept bringing him.

He had needed a drink, after what had happened this morning. He and Heero had been working on their Gundams in their mutual hanger when, feeling unusually brave or suicidal or something, Duo had decided to finally let the morose young pilot know how he felt. Big mistake. Besides the rather painful consequence of Heero throwing projectile tools like wrenches and power saws at the love sick Shinigami, he had made it quiet clear that hell would freeze over before he would ever feel anything for his fellow pilot. Heart broken, the God of Death had slinked away to his favorite out of the way tavern to drown his miseries in whisky and gin.

Suddenly the door opened and slammed shut, causing Duo's impressive castle of shot glasses to go tumbling to the ground. "Hey! That wasn't cool....who the hell else is coming in here at this time of day....?" Looking over at the door, Duo facefaulted at the scene that greeted him.

Relena Darlian Peacecraft stood in the doorway, her eyes red from weeping, her stance unsteady from a visit to a previous drinking establishment. She swayed over to the bar and shot a wavering smile at the bartender. "I would like three bottles of your best wine, my good man....and don't bother giving me a glass."

The bartender regarded the young diplomat, obviously confused as to what course of action he should take. "Ummmm....Relena-sama, I know for a fact that you are underage. It is also obvious that you are already drunk and it is against the law for me to serve an intoxicated person more alcohol. Would you like me to call your driver to come and pick you up or....?"

Relena cut him off quiet effectively, grabbing the collar of his shit and almost pulling him over the bar counter. "Look here, you pathetic, womanizing, no good fucking bastard of a man...."

"Relena-sama, I...."

"I have more power then you could even dream of. One phone call from me can shut down your bar and see to it that you never work in this colony again...."

"I.....I.....can't breath...Relena-sama...."

"Besides which, the way I'm feeling towards your entire gender right now, you had better keep me happy or I will not be responsible for the consequences! Damn you, and damn Heero and damn any other man I run into tonight!" At this point, the young foreign minister had dissolved into a semi-hysterical state and collapsed against the bar, sobbing.

At the mention of suicide-boy, Duo stood up (shakily...) and walked over to the bar where the bar tender was watching the spectacle of the foreign minister collapsed against the bar crying even as he placed three bottles of expensive wine on the counter. "Oi...Relena-san? What happened to you?"

Relena looked up at him, waiting for her eyes to focus on his shifting form. "Duo?" Standing up, though still leaning against the bar for support, the vice foreign minister looked the young man over. He was swaying, disheveled, red eyed, drunk off his ass...."I could ask you the same, Shinigami. What? Did you and Heero have a late night?" 

Wincing at both the bitterness in the diplomat's voice, the mention of Heero, and the sudden bright light of day from someone opening the door, Duo grabbed one of Relena's wine bottles and popped it open. "No. Heero no baka decided he doesn't want me or need me or tolerate my presence within a mile radius of his..."

"nani...?" Relena straightened, taking the wine bottle from Duo before he emptied it and taking a few gulps. "He....he told me much the same. As a matter of fact, he showed me a restraining order that made it illegal to be within a mile radius of him. I thought it was because you two were, well...."

"We aren't a couple and we have never been a couple. Though I certainly wish we had been. Actually, I sorta figured you and he had finally hooked up and that's why he didn't want me around anymore."

Relena shook her head and immediately regretted it as the room started to spin. "C'mon Duo, lets go sit down and finish this wine. Damn Heero. Does he even realize what he does to people?"

Taking the other two bottles of wine and stumbling after Relena's unsteady form, Duo chuckled softly. "Oh, I think he knows. I think he enjoys it too. Damn him. I really need another drink...."

*** Several Hours Later***

Relena was almost in tears, she was laughing so hard. "...so, he really just stayed like that, in his underwear out in the snow, because he wasn't speaking to you and wouldn't ask you to open the door!?!?!"

Duo nodded, filling his glass and getting more champagne on the table then in the glass and not particularly caring. "Yup! Though, that's not as good as your story about giving that speech and Heero falling out of the rafters onto the president's wife 'cause he had fallen asleep in his hiding place!" Giggling maniacally, Duo passed the glass to Relena and started filling another one for himself.

"He has no sense of decency or propriety or even art, you know? I mean, he didn't even want to redecorate his Gundam with those pretty wings....I'm glad we were able to convince him to do that."

Duo blinked, looking at Relena. "Oh yeah....you were the other person who talked him into it. Heh. You were also the one who helped me convince him to move out of that damn shack he was staying in."

Relena nodded, trying to drink from her glass and quickly becoming annoyed with it because it refused to stay still. "hnnn...yes, but I didn't want him to move in with you! Of course, I'm glad now. I don't want to deal with him ever again!"

"I hear ya, sister! Here's to no more Heero!" Duo raised his glass in a toast and Relena obligingly clinked hers against it.

"Oi, Duo-san. You know, Heero has never been this interesting over lunch....liquid or otherwise."

"I know what you mean, Relena-san! Heero never goes to bars with me and he certainly would never pick up the tab!"

Chuckling, even as she reached for an unopened bottle of wine, Relena looked at Duo. "Oh, I have too much money anyway. But you know, in return, maybe you could tell me what you use on your hair. I could never grow mine that long and not get split ends!" Leaning over and brushing against the young pilot, Relena examined the end of his braid as best she could in her alcohol induced state.

Duo grinned. "Heero never notices how nice my hair is. Oi, Relena-san, is that lavender perfume you're wearing? I love that fragrance!"

Relena blinked, looking at Duo's face. "humph....Heero never knew what kind of perfume I had on." Smiling, Relena took out her wallet and placed her credit card on the table.

Duo mimicked her smile, reaching for the remaining unopened bottles. "You know, my place isn't too far from here....."

***11:00 PM, that night***

Heero walked through the hallway, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the floor. It had certainly been an interesting day. First Duo professes his love, then Relena throws herself at him. Looking back on his actions, Heero realized that he had been a little harsh with both of them. After all, he considered them the closest things to friends he had and, truth be told, he was somewhat attracted to them both. Sighing, he supposed he ought to at least apologize to them both. Maybe he would even try being nice to them for a bit. One never knew, he might even be able to talk them into a three-some...

Smiling, very, very slightly, Heero paused before Duo's door. The lights were out, but he could hear talking within. Odd...Shrugging, Heero opened the door and clicked on the light. "Hey, Duo....?"

The words died on his lips. Duo was in his bed, nude, his hair loose, and his clothing scattered throughout the room. He was smoking a cigarette and giggling as he braided the hair of the person with him. The person with him was none other then Relena, also undressed, playing with Duo's hair, and laughing softly.

Heero stood in the doorway and blinked.

Duo glanced over at him and grinned, handing his cigarette to Relena. "Hey, Heero. Do me a favor and turn out the light when you leave, ok? Oh, and don't bother getting me up in the morning. I plan to sleep in!"

Relena also smiled at Heero as she took a puff of the cigarette and handed it back to Duo. "Oh, and Heero? Noin wanted you to call her tomorrow morning about an assignment. And when you do, can you tell her that I won't be coming to work tomorrow? Thanks Heero."

Heero started at the two of them as they went back to playing with each others hair and the like.

"............."

Heero blinked, only once, and turned to leave the room.

".........................I think.......I need a drink."


End file.
